Developing Self-Control

Developing Self-Control

We said before that self-control is about using reason to master instinct.

There are a number of questions to ask yourself when you really want something that will help you to apply reason to your desire.

These include:

·  What sort of things do you want, and how many? Do you desire a reasonable amount, too many or too few? It’s reasonable to want a few things but, if as soon as you get something you’re looking for the next, that’s not so good. And if you want something in such large quantities that it affects your health or well-being, that’s also bad news.

·  How much do you want the object? How far would you go to get it? If you would do something illegal, or put yourself in debt, to obtain it, that’s much too strong.

·  How much enjoyment do you get out of it? Do you enjoy it enough to make it worthwhile, or simply move on to wanting more or something else?

·  When do you satisfy the desire appropriately? Is now a good time, or would ‘later’ or another occasion be more appropriate?

·  How much pain does it cause you not to satisfy the desire? Is it excessive to the extent that it is damaging your enjoyment and that of other people?

Applying reason to all these can help you to apply self-control when you need to do so.

Finding the Balance

Self-control is not about total abstinence, it’s about finding the right balance for you.

There is an old saying that ‘a little bit of what you fancy does you good’, and provided that it is not illegal or actually damaging, that is almost certainly true. Denying yourself what you need is as bad as over-indulging. It will certainly quickly remove quite a lot of joy from your life.

You can find the right balance by thinking through your desires using the questions above, and considering what ‘too little’, ‘too much’ and ‘just right’ would look like.

Once you know, you can strive for ‘just right’ and you are well on the way to developing self-control.

Source by Skillsyouneed.com